King’s Arms, Melksham, Wiltshire   2 comments

Kings Arms Melksham sign

Leaving the West End Inn for the Pig and Whistle, I considered walking to allow the clock to roll around to noon but the sweat from the run had started to dry, making me cold, and the skies started sprinkling a bit exacerbating the situation.  I decided to do some sightseeing around the town and the most lovely sight seen was the door open to the bar of the King’s Arms.

I had a pint of Waterloo (named for the battle and somehow I was able to fend off the Abba ear worm the rest of the day) and as I was paying a chubby guy in a suit with a shitload of little badges on the left breast turned up.  The barlady pointed at him and said, “that’s a stout, a Henry’s, and two Stellas, yeah?”  She had already started the stout and was reaching for the lager glass before he could respond.  “And, I’ve never been in here before,” he said to me as I turned to find a table.

Ralph Steadman's premonition of this day

Ralph Steadman’s premonition of this day

There were a bunch of these guys with the little medals in there and I wondered if they were some sort of fraternal or Masonic order.  Most of them had the barrel shape that middle-aged coppers in mid-1970s America would have sported (real ones, not TV or film filth but the ones that would laugh about breaking your fingers and either plant drugs on you or confiscate them from you for personal use — donut coppers).  I also realised that they probably were all closer to my age and maybe a few a bit younger although they looked 15-20 years older.

A woman appeared from another room and strode directly toward me as I was finishing my glass.  A step or so away she stopped dead and pointed at me; “you’re not my husband!”  “Oh, come on, love, we agreed to stop playing that game now that I’ve got ‘the prescription,'” I adlibbed as she turned and left the way she had come.  I dropped off my glass at the bar and as I passed the erstwhile fuzz I muttered, “Broads, huh?”

Here’s the map.
Kings Arms Melksham

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Posted July 7, 2015 by Drunken Bunny in Pubs

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