Dismaland   8 comments

dismaland red

Dismaland was better than I had hoped for, which is to say it was funny and bewildering in varying measures roughly equal over the whole experience.  I’m no art critic but I know what I like and a lot of it was here.  This post will, therefore, be mostly made up of pictures and a little bit of video all with minimal narration.  Enjoy.

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Above we see the approach to the site, an old lido on the mud beach of Weston-super-Mare.  Next, there’s the queue gates made of enough of the sort of cattle chute crowd controls that could hold four times the attendance.  This one was for the advance ticket holders; there was similar for the walk-up attendees.

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There was real security, but then there were the jobsworths that were doing it for the Park.  Rude, humourless, hilarious…”so, just you here today?” mine asked.  I nodded, dejectedly.  “So, no friends, huh?”  I answered, honestly if not completely enough, “my wife just left me to go home to her mother in the States…I didn’t want to be alone but I don’t want to see anyone I know.  Y’know?  Surely, you can relate.”  No smile but I saw a flash of panic in his eyes then, as he handed my papers back he added, “you probably deserve it.”  This was going well already.

Weston-super-Mare is overrun with pensioners midweek when school is in session so to avoid them and the paraplegics that seemed to be having a day out, as well, I went directly to the rooftop bar (that write up to post by 13 September) which was a good place to survey the spectacle.

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The Punch and Judy is all about spousal abuse with Judy constantly taking him back: “he didn’t mean it, it was just the drink.”  About 10 really uncomfortable minutes there.

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Great music here, and you get to make the puppets dance:

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As seen from ground level:

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I’ve lived in this neighbourhood:

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R2D2 converted to cooking hob:


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If your kids didn’t budget well, let them learn one of life’s lessons:


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There were more treats for the kids than the Pocket Money Loans.  Check out the groovy rides:

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This guy actually put a coin in the one with the netted porpoise:

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Owl and the Pussycat:


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The Merry-Go-Round looked straight up and normal till this guy circled around (Americans, note: last year we had a bit of a horsemeat scandal with lot’s of it turning up in frozen lasagna):

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One tent shaped vaguely like EPCOT Center had the socialist, union, and anti-fascism materials:

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Who doesn’t like miniature golf, brought to you by petrochemicals?


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There were other games like Hook the Oil Soaked Waterfowl:

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The guy running this next stand was awesome.  Sullen and wordless, he would occasionally answer questions by jerking a thumb toward the sign that says you get two ping-pong balls to throw at the huge anvils for £2.  One couple gave him the price and he threw their coins out in the dirt about 20 feet away, scowling.


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The indoor art exhibits alone would have kept you busy for hours and were worth the price of admission even without the glorious chaos outside.

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One tent had a bit of Damien Hirst stuff (I’m not a big fan, but some of this was interesting and it was a brief stop ahead of the really large collections to come:

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From there, pass the monster trucks:

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And a Banksy bit:

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To get into an exhibit of around a hundred paintings and other displays:

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Just off to the right from Death riding around in a dodge ’em car while “Staying Alive” played there was this 3-D corporate fetus:


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A variety of shoes with paw-print bottoms, for the beach (and above the shoe rack a bunch of photos of the results out on the mud beach):

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Good model of the city after an incident.  No civilians anywhere…just coppers:

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The Park was well suited to food and drink with 3 bars, a pizza tent, a falafel place:

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and an ice cream truck (it really is open on the other side):

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Every day they ceremonially light the fire with one of the novels by Weston-super-Mare native, perjurer, and disgraced member of the House of Lords, Jeffrey Archer:

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Some of the attendees were just thick…she couldn’t even work the Selfie Booth without help:


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A quick trip to the PortaLoo and you might find an amateur addition:

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But, you eventually have to leave through the gift shop (the t-shirts will start to appear at thrift stores soon…fuck the fucking fuckers, indeed):

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As I left, a woman in crappy mouse ears said, in monotone, “Have a Dismal day, don’t come back.”

Here’s a link to the video clips I took while there in case they don’t play, below.  If it does, there’s the Astronaut Caravan Ride, the model boats you can steer around, a visit to the Castle where the paparazzi are working the death of the fairy princess when the pumpkin carriage wrecked, some of the experimental video theatre, and Death takes a Holiday:



Posted September 10, 2015 by Drunken Bunny in Tourism

Tagged with , , , ,

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