British betting shops are ready to cover your Trump related wagers. At Ladbrokes, we have:
The troubling one on that list is 2025 OR LATER…. Well, not as troubling as 2017 ever becoming an option in the first place.
The selection at Paddy Power is:
I have a lousy gambling record so I don’t want to read too much into this, but those seem like pretty good odds for the Wee-wee Tape coming out (yes, he puts the ‘P’ in POTUS). And, if I understand the semantics of this slate of bets then he has slightly better odds of Splitting With His Soft Core Porn Star Wife than he has of Not Getting Inaugurated In The Next 24 Hours. I keep saying, ill-advised though it is to do so out loud, that America really needs a patriot with good aim to step up (maybe a Secret Service Agent with inoperable cancer?) and get me that 20:1 payoff.
Stanhope’s ghoulish Celebrity Death Pool (fantasy football for the obituary obsessives) seems to have tapped into that same stream of consciousness. The leading ‘picks’ as of yesterday were the easy to justify Charlie Manson and George HW Bush. Number 3? You don’t get that many votes from people expecting a fatal hairspray incident:
Here were the debate buzzword results and the odds Ladbrokes was paying out on them (see the post from last week for the details).
These paid out:
“Make America Great Again” (1:10), twice by Trump at the end.
“Commander In Chief” (1:5) came up twice (both times in Clinton responses)
“Putin” (1:2), 3 times by Clinton
“Pennsylvania” (Evens) all Trump, once for the State of and twice for the White House address
“Unbelievable” (6:4) Trump described his company twice as “unbelievable”
“Reagan” (6:4) twice by Trump, and “Racist” (2:1) three times in one Clinton answer
Tear up your betting slip if you had these:
“Lying” (1:2) no
“Crooked” (4:6) he couldn’t say it to her face
“Pneumonia” (Evens) nope
“Terrific” (Evens) no
“Basket Of Deplorables” (6:4) no baskets
“Brexit” (5:1) no
“There You Go Again” (5:1) no
“Give Me A Break” (5:1) no
“Monica Lewinsky” (10:1) no
“You’re Likeable Enough” (10:1) nogo
The very dickish “How’s Your Cold” (20:1) sadly was not used.
These last ones were close enough to get excited about:
“Mexico’s Gonna Pay For It” (5:4), no but Trump mentioned Mexico six times in context of how well they are doing down there
“Founding Fathers” (2:1) closest was Trump talking about his father’s company.
“You’re Fired” (2:1); fired only came up in the context of Carrier Air Conditioning firing 1400 workers and moving the factory to Mexico.
“Washington Bubble” (3:1) no, economic bubble, vis “We are in a big, fat, ugly bubble.”
“Total Loser” (4:1) did not happen although Trump did point out, “I have a winning temperament. I know how to win.”
“How the Hell Should I Know” (20:1), but Trump said “we have to knock the hell out of ISIS, and we have to do it fast.”
“You’re No Jack Kennedy” (33:1) but Trump mentioned Kennedy Airport.
I had “Make America Great Again,” “Commander In Chief,” “Putin,” “Racist,” and “Crooked” netting £22.17 including the 4 out of my 5 quid stake returned.
If you bet £1 on each possibility (£25) you would leave the bookies with £6.33 including your stake (for a net loss of £18.67). If, instead of gambling, you were using these as a drinking game then you probably stayed relatively sober. I didn’t think of it as a game and, as a result, I DID NOT stay sober. The VP match-up may be a little better.
This is cut and paste directly from Ladbrokes betting website, odds just below the phrases. Note, I’ve tagged it with ‘obituaries‘ as this is another factor in the death of American democracy. Use it to set up your Debate Drinking Game:
1st Presidential Debate Buzzword Bingo
Which exact words or phrases will either Trump or Clinton say?
Make America Great Again
Commander In Chief
Lying, or Putin
Pneumonia, or Pennsylvania, or Terrific
Mexico’s Gonna Pay For It
Unbelievable, or Reagan, or Basket Of Deplorables
Racist, or Founding Fathers, or You’re Fired
Brexit, or There You Go Again, or Give Me A Break
Monica Lewinsky, or You’re Likeable Enough
How the Hell Should I Know, or How’s Your Cold
You’re No Jack Kennedy
Here are the minimum details on our annual donation to the Bookies’ Retirement Fund:
Sir Des Champs (mine) took a tumble at ‘The Chair’ (Jump 15 with the airborne jockey):
The Druids Nephew (Jackie’s) pulled up at Jump 21 along with 4 other horses. Aachen (mine) pulled up at the next jump.
The Last Samuri (Jackie’s) led the field from there until the last half furlong (the only one that counts) and came in 2nd (our closest National pick so far) to Rule the World (which we both had shortlisted). The winning jockey, David Mullins (just 19 years old), had to take the wreath and re-mount for the amateurs-and-apprentice race that followed (and he easily won that one by 16 lengths). Best scene of the day had to be Dave’s little brother dashing out of the stands in tears to hug his victorious sibling:
It was our best outing for the National, yet. Jackie still doesn’t have a finisher but Rebel Rebellion led almost from the start until it pulled up at the 26th fence…shit. The Dude did not abide, but came in 3rd. Feeling lucky for 2016. At least neither of our horses are heading to the kebab stands.