The reason I made such a big deal about Uncle Jim’s kebab was that it was so unusual: most kebabs you get were like the one I inflicted on myself (or, rather, with which I afflicted myself) at the Kebab Centre in Ruislip yesterday. Yuck. I couldn’t decide if it was the meat or the salad that imparted the rotting compost essence but the congealed grease that collected in my mouth and esophagus definitely came from the Beast that was passed off as lamb (as did the salt that had me attached to a water bottle for the next 6 hours: I drank as much water last night as I would, usually, in 2 days).
I was hungry after a day of running and drinking and I really wanted a bit of cod but a guy at the Red Cow pointed me to Uncle Jim’s and I hope someday to thank him in person. The meat was actually chunks of lamb (not some minced and reconstituted elephant leg like in most kebaberies). The chips were perfect and the chilli sauce actually contained Habanero (Scotch bonnet) peppers and had a real heat to it. The small was too much food but I would have gorged on two large orders if I had them in front of me. Yum.
I haven’t had doner meat and chips in 14 months and went to the Heathrow Fish & Chips Best Kebab Eat In or Takeaway Restaurant to have a bit of cod but didn’t want to wait for the fish to cook. I bet it would have been excellent because the meat was divine. Go soon: this is part of the planned and unnecessary expansion of Heathrow.
I tried to get food at three separate stalls in the Salisbury Food and Drink Festival but left each when people who came after me were served before. I just wanted something to soak up the alcohol from the five pub stops, so I went off the square to the nearest kebab place, Saray on the Endless Street.
It’s not great, but it was more substantial than a similar amount of money would have yielded back at The Event, which if not for the beer tent could have gone and fucked itself.
The first bite of the kebab wrap spewed sauce and grease out the bottom of the wax paper splattering my trousers. I had just changed into these after a long day of runs all over NW and N London but they were not fit to wear any longer. Shit.
Good kebab, though. After 6 pints and no food all day, this was just what I needed.
And, no, it did not give me a Woody. Like most old dudes, I had to pay for my Woody.
Properly zooted from the short stop in Eindhoven, I completely forgot to endorse/check-in my OV Chipkaart (prof of passage on the rails) and then sweated the journey to the next stop, ‘s Hertogenbosch; unchecked by the conductor I was able to dash out and check-in at Den Bosch and thus saved myself one stop’s worth of fare.
To celebrate (and to kill off the half hour till the next train), I dove into the Doner Company for my first kebab since 28 December 2013 (almost 1 ½ years). Not too salty, the chilli sauce was good, the garlic sauce was better, and the jalapeño peppers were great. Absolutely awesome.