Archive for the ‘Made Me Laugh’ Category

Traint (the Train’s Taint)   Leave a comment

A while back, I spent some effort trying to convince a guy on the Metropolitan Line of the London Underground that the connective membrane between the two carriages was officially called a “traint,” a portmanteau of “train” and “taint.”  I’m not sure I was successful.  Drink may have been involved.

Posted May 23, 2017 by Drunken Bunny in Made Me Laugh

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Hull-idiz In’T Sun Part 1: Hullspeak   2 comments

I guess I need to explain the title of this post.  I really love regional accents.  In Georgia, you used to be able to make a pretty decent guess (to within a few dozen miles) about where in the state someone was from by listening to them for a minute or so; in Atlanta, you could tell from which neighbourhood they hailed.  Everyone in the States sounds more or less the same, nowadays.

Not so in the UK.  The East Riding of Yorkshire and Hull in particular have an especially lovely tongue, demonstrated on these benches outside the Minerva pub.  While I was there, a Yorkshireman that looked for all the world like Vic Reeves (I’m almost convinced it was him) was harassing a middle-aged couple for not knowing the meanings of the phrases.  He also kept saying to them, “of course y’dunno…yer on yerolidiz.”

So, this big Vic-Reeves-looking-motherfucker points at “Arse In Yer Kirk,” and says “you’ll never get that one.”

I piped in, “ice in your Coke?”

A light cheer came from the others at his table and he turned, looked my way, and said, “oh, your on yerolidiz, too, then?”

“Yup, yup. Molidiz are always like this.”  I meant it like I always seem to be inhabiting an Andy Capp comic, but he’s from up near Newcastle and I didn’t want to start a fight.

So, the rest of this Holiday in Hull (my Hull-idiz) will be spread out over as long as it takes to get the posts out and in as many individual topics as make sense to me.  Enjoy deciphering the rest of the phrases (it helps to say them out loud):

 

Posted May 16, 2017 by Drunken Bunny in Made Me Laugh, Tourism

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It’s Your Round   Leave a comment

Funny.  I had not thought of the Buy Me A Beer Page in ages then a generous woman from The North dumped some cash into my PayPal account.  I hope she looks like this:

 

Posted May 6, 2017 by Drunken Bunny in Beer, Booze, Made Me Laugh

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Have I Got News For You taping 20 April 2017   2 comments

I should have foreseen the course of the evening when I boarded the Jubilee Line tube train. “The Jubilee Line is now closed between Finchley Road and Waterloo. Passengers are advised to use the Bakerloo Line to Waterloo or find other transport alternatives.” The walk from the Bakerloo to the Jubilee platforms in Waterloo Station is roughly the same as from Waterloo to Southwark (my destination on the Jubilee Line).

We eat at this Italian place near Waterloo Station when attending things near Jackie’s job. Our plates arrived and Jackie’s cannelloni looked okay but it had too much cheese (“Italian food for the English palate” she later remarked). A lovely plate of risotto was placed in front of me. “This isn’t mine.”

“Yes, is yours.”
We were under the clock for the start of the show. “I’ll take it but it’s not what I ordered.” Without asking what it was that I HAD ordered she took both plates away then returned, apologetically, in a couple of minutes with my arrabbiata. Okay, I guess, but this place really shines when there is a set menu on offer.

The metaphor stalked us to the television studio and feasted on our carcasses the rest of the night. Jackie had a migraine earlier and was about 2/3 full of codeine; I developed one about an hour into taping.

 

 

We have been trying to get tickets for a taping of HIGNFY since October 2001 when we were in Amsterdam for my post-doc interview and the Amsterdam Marathon.  That episode featured Rich Hall and before we returned to the States, we saw another that had our current MP and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson, and both times we laughed as though we had eaten hallucinogenic mushrooms a couple of hours before the airing — odd coincidence, that.

Tonight’s show was chaired by Patrick Stewart and, as always, featured team captains Ian Hislop and Paul Merton.  Richard Osman and Angela Eagle (who staged an unsuccessful coup against Jeremy Corbyn, last year) were supposed to be their respective team mates but Eagle, as is her wont, panicked in the face of overwhelming opposition of her own making and bolted from the fight.  She was replaced by the game but supremely unsatisfying Camilla Long.

It took 3½  hours to do the ½ show (plus a few retakes because Stewart seemed addled and was unable to read the prompter nor even respond as though sober).  Ian and Paul also seemed a bit slow but Osman was almost up to the task.

It’s fun to watch how these shows are made, though.  With any luck, we’ll get in again in fewer than 15 years this time.

Surprisingly, NOT a Fetish Bar   Leave a comment

not-a-fetish-bar-rickmansworth

Since I was cutting the run short, anyway, I was pleased when I looked up from my fish treat and spotted what I reckoned to be another pub sign. Even better, this appeared to be a deviant bar so at last I might have an interesting write-up to do (no offense to the Tree, the Waterside, or the Coy Carp earlier this day).  I eagerly approached the Carpet and Vinyl with thoughts of 70’s pubic hair and form-fitting/fluids resistance outfits.

Alas, it was non-euphemistically a carpet and vinyl shop. Sort of the old bait-and-switch (and, come to think of it, “The Bait & Switch” might make a good fetish bar name, too).

 

Mail for President Bannon   1 comment

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Everyone should send a letter or, since everyone reads them if they pass through their hands, a postcard like this one to

President Stephen Bannon
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500
USA

Because
A) this seems to be the sort of thing that gets under Trump’s skin and might cause him to have a stroke if it happens enough, and
B) see A).

Links to terminology:
Cottaging (also, this video from Monkey Dust)
Santorum (if the link ever fails, Google search “frothy” and “Santorum”)
FBs (hint, NOT FaceBook or First Baptist, unless it is)
Drunken Bunny Liqueurs

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Posted February 15, 2017 by Drunken Bunny in Made Me Laugh, Politics

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Trumpageddon T Minus 1 Day: Trump Betting Odds   Leave a comment

British betting shops are ready to cover your Trump related wagers.  At Ladbrokes, we have:

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The troubling one on that list is 2025 OR LATER….  Well, not as troubling as 2017 ever becoming an option in the first place.

The selection at Paddy Power is:

trump-betting-odds-at-paddy-power-2017-01-19

 

I have a lousy gambling record so I don’t want to read too much into this, but those seem like pretty good odds for the Wee-wee Tape coming out (yes, he puts the ‘P’ in POTUS).  And, if I understand the semantics of this slate of bets then he has slightly better odds of Splitting With His Soft Core Porn Star Wife than he has of Not Getting Inaugurated In The Next 24 Hours.  I keep saying, ill-advised though it is to do so out loud, that America really needs a patriot with good aim to step up (maybe a Secret Service Agent with inoperable cancer?) and get me that 20:1 payoff.

Stanhope’s ghoulish Celebrity Death Pool (fantasy football for the obituary obsessives) seems to have tapped into that same stream of consciousness.  The leading ‘picks’ as of yesterday were the easy to justify Charlie Manson and George HW Bush.  Number 3?  You don’t get that many votes from people expecting a fatal hairspray incident:

 

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