Archive for the ‘Made Me Laugh’ Category

Karnac   Leave a comment

At the start of the Z for Zoo Run, I spotted the Karnac Bookstore which specialises in psychoanalysis related publications.

My predicted answer is:

“How may I help you?”
“No, there isn’t a ‘Karnac The Magnificent’ here.”
“I would like you to leave, now.”

The question?

“What are the first three things that would be said to me if I went into the Karnac Bookstore?”

For those that don’t know who Johnny Carson was, here’s a YouTube clip:

 

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Posted September 2, 2017 by Drunken Bunny in Books and Movies, Made Me Laugh

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There’s Always Room For Jello   Leave a comment

Browsing the settings for Google Calendar, I stumbled upon this:

 

 

There’s your earworm for the day!  You’re welcome.

Posted August 8, 2017 by Drunken Bunny in Made Me Laugh, music

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Mountain of Fire And Miracles Ministries, New Cross, London   1 comment

I took this photo on New Cross Road while exploring a the neighbourhoods around the site where Jackie was interviewing for a job. I wholly intended to make fun of the quaint storefront Christian church until I read up on them a bit. Not only backward but truly scary motherfuckers, this lot (I don’t think they’ll have a problem with me calling them “scary”).

They claim their church is “where your hands are trained to wage war and your fingers to do battle,” and with sub-groups such as God’s Violent Army and the Territorial Intercessors there is no reason to doubt their resolve. They hunt witches, for fuck’s sake…WITCHES.

Here’s a copy of a well circulated list of rules for couples planning to marry within the church. Good stuff:

 

 

 

Posted July 18, 2017 by Drunken Bunny in Made Me Laugh, Tourism

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Comey and the Cancer on the Presidency   Leave a comment

The spectre of 1974 returned yesterday as the testimony of James Comey drew my attention away from the UK General Election results.

A few weeks before Nixon resigned in disgrace, I bought “The Missing White House Tapes” which had just been released and was highly predictive — spookily so — of the events to come in the month or two ahead. I dug it out of the stacks and, although I haven’t listened to it in 30 years, could immediately remember some of the tracks verbatim. I may have to correct this later, but I’m pretty sure that “The Swearing Out Ceremony” administered by Billy Graham went like:

God damn you, Richard Nixon.
Richard Nixon, you son-of-a-bitch.
Get the hell out of here, you’ve lied your ass off.
Fuck off.

I’m not sure about this next one, but I think it is also responsible for the first time I heard the term “Hung like a Hebrew National,” which would close the loop back to my hot dog story a week or so back.

Oh, right.  It was the weasel, John Dean, that spoke the words “Cancer on the Presidency” in those 1974 hearings.  He has since redeemed himself in my estimation.  Weasel Comey is getting there, too.  Not there, yet, but on a fine trajectory.

 

Traint (the Train’s Taint)   Leave a comment

A while back, I spent some effort trying to convince a guy on the Metropolitan Line of the London Underground that the connective membrane between the two carriages was officially called a “traint,” a portmanteau of “train” and “taint.”  I’m not sure I was successful.  Drink may have been involved.

Posted May 23, 2017 by Drunken Bunny in Made Me Laugh

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Hull-idiz In’T Sun Part 1: Hullspeak   2 comments

I guess I need to explain the title of this post.  I really love regional accents.  In Georgia, you used to be able to make a pretty decent guess (to within a few dozen miles) about where in the state someone was from by listening to them for a minute or so; in Atlanta, you could tell from which neighbourhood they hailed.  Everyone in the States sounds more or less the same, nowadays.

Not so in the UK.  The East Riding of Yorkshire and Hull in particular have an especially lovely tongue, demonstrated on these benches outside the Minerva pub.  While I was there, a Yorkshireman that looked for all the world like Vic Reeves (I’m almost convinced it was him) was harassing a middle-aged couple for not knowing the meanings of the phrases.  He also kept saying to them, “of course y’dunno…yer on yerolidiz.”

So, this big Vic-Reeves-looking-motherfucker points at “Arse In Yer Kirk,” and says “you’ll never get that one.”

I piped in, “ice in your Coke?”

A light cheer came from the others at his table and he turned, looked my way, and said, “oh, your on yerolidiz, too, then?”

“Yup, yup. Molidiz are always like this.”  I meant it like I always seem to be inhabiting an Andy Capp comic, but he’s from up near Newcastle and I didn’t want to start a fight.

So, the rest of this Holiday in Hull (my Hull-idiz) will be spread out over as long as it takes to get the posts out and in as many individual topics as make sense to me.  Enjoy deciphering the rest of the phrases (it helps to say them out loud):

 

Posted May 16, 2017 by Drunken Bunny in Made Me Laugh, Tourism

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It’s Your Round   Leave a comment

Funny.  I had not thought of the Buy Me A Beer Page in ages then a generous woman from The North dumped some cash into my PayPal account.  I hope she looks like this:

 

Posted May 6, 2017 by Drunken Bunny in Beer, Booze, Made Me Laugh

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